animal communications

15Sep

A Good-Night Ritual for Ripley

I am part of a Zen sangha, a group of practitioners, called Suffering and Delight, for people dealing with chronic pain and/or illness, whether it be physical or emotional. Quite often, of course, when one has chronic pain or illness, emotional pain comes along for the ride. This group has been a life-saver for me, especially since, unlike many other things, I did not have to sacrifice it when I lost my ability to drive. I used to go to a regular Zen practice group which I could no longer attend, because it was over an hour’s distance from my home. The beauty of this group? We meet online, via Zoom video conferencing. So even when I moved to New Mexico, I brought my Zen sangha with me.

Every six months we begin a new practice period, where we focus on a different syllabus, a new angle of study. Some things remain the same. We always open the night with fifteen minutes of zazen, or sitting meditation. But from there, we go in all kinds of directions.

Now, we are looking at “radical self care,” and one of the assignments we were given was to introduce a ritual into our daily lives. Our priest, Beata, said it could be something as simple as bowing to your toothbrush before brushing your teeth in the morning. Each of us was invited to come up with something in our day that caused us to pause, and acknowledge an act in a new way.

I thought about this for a while, and then I realized I knew exactly what I wanted to do. I created a good-night ritual for Ripley.

Sometimes, in the scurry of daily living, with three dogs in the house, cats to feed, and my focus on working with Rocky, it is easy to overlook Ripley. She spends most of her day napping on the king-sized bed. Even when we come home from an outing, as much as she wants to run to greet me, she is the dog who holds back, afraid of being bumped and jostled by the others, especially now that her vision is failing. I wanted to carve out a time just for her, filled with respect and love.

Each night, after the dogs have alerted me for my medications and after they have all piled onto the bed, right before I am about to get into my spot, I go to the foot of the bed on my side, which is where Ripley sleeps, and I kneel down. She turns her body towards me. I put both hands up, hold her face, and, like a mantra, I say this phrase very softly, over and over again:

“Thank you for your years of service. May you sleep gently tonight.”

I stroke her chest, rub the inside of her ears, pull her close to kiss her nose. We do this for about five minutes. I give her one last kiss on top of her head, then stand, and get into bed, snuggling my feet down next to her.

We have been doing this for about a month. Ripley waits for it now, waits for me to come from the bathroom, waits for me to kneel. Her whole body leans towards me, towards the whispered words.

Sometimes Rocky gets jealous. I tell her, “When you are old, I will do this for you, too.”

(photos by Sabrina Temple)

21Oct

Rocky Has Issues Too

If you’ve been reading this blog, you know that recently I’ve been using the services of animal communicator Kat Berard. In January she worked with our pit/boxer cross, Malakai. A few weeks ago, she helped out Ripley, trying to ease her transition into retirement.

Well, Rocky, my new service dog, has some issues, too. So why not let her have a chat with Kat to see if we can work some things out?

Mostly it centers around separation anxiety. She wants to be with me all the time. Hey, that’s great, right? She’s my service dog. She should want to be with me all the time! Well, yes, that’s true. I have been working very hard over the last five months to create a bond with Rocky, so she feels strongly connected to me. But I also need her to trust that this is her home, that I will always return to her, and she will not be abandoned.

Here’s a little background. Rocky is from American Service Dogs, which places shelter dogs in service positions. I believe Rocky actually came from a private home, not a shelter – but the fact remains she was given up once, and went to live at a training kennel. At some point, she was assigned to a young boy, and went as far in the training that she went home with him and his family. But the family, because of changes in their lives, decided a service dog was not a good solution for them at that time, and returned Rocky to American Service Dogs. Back to the training kennel, and dealing with a second abandonment.

When Rocky and I first started working together at the kennel, she was slow to bond, showing strong attachment to Jared Latham, the manager and lead trainer at ASD. When she eventually shifted her loyalties to me, she didn’t want me to leave at the end of class; she wanted to go home with me. Once Rocky had her first overnight visit at my house, that was it. She was committed.

I still return to the training facility a couple of times a week for further classes with Rocky. I have to close the dutch door to the training room so Rocky can’t see the main entrance – otherwise she attempts to head toward that escape route at every opportunity. At the end of class, after behaving perfectly, I open the training room door, and she nearly pulls me off my feet racing for the front exit. I can barely restrain her. As soon as our car is in sight, she’s fine. Then she know’s she’s going home.

Here is a more extreme example of her fear. Last month, we took a friend and spent a long afternoon at White Sands National Monument. It was a big outing for Rocky, her longest yet. We came home and fed all three dogs, and my friend Ruth said, “Rocky must be tired. Why don’t we leave her home and let Ripley be the one to go out to dinner with us?” I knew that Rocky adored Malakai, and I, too, felt Rocky was exhausted. I also knew Ripley would love the special time being service dog for the evening, so I agreed. We locked the dogs in the house just to be on the safe side (given Rocky’s recent history as an escape artist).

We were gone about an hour and a half. When we came home, Rocky met me right inside the door, whining, and she started to pee. I quickly opened the door to the dog yard, believing at first she simply had to go to the bathroom. But when I stepped outside, she went into the most submissive position I have ever seen. She got down on her belly in the dirt, and crawled towards me, head lowered. She appeared to be begging my forgiveness for whatever horrible thing she had done which had made me leave her behind. Of course, I should have known better; I had seen her pee in submission/fear before, once or twice at the kennel.

I gave her  as much love and reassurance as I could, and convinced her to come back into the house, but it still took nearly four hours before she would stand up in front of me and behave normally.

Talk about heartbreak. Oh, I so wished I spoke dog that night!

So, we have asked Kat to drop in for a bit this weekend to see what’s up, to reassure Rocky I’m a permanent fixture in her life, to explain that sometimes even service dogs have to be separated from their people for short periods of time, and I’d like her to be able to handle that without having a nervous breakdown. Because that would be helpful. For both of us.

 

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18Oct

Extra Special Time for Ripley

I returned from our trip to Jemez Springs with animal communicator Kat Berard’s transcript with Ripley in hand, determined to take new actions. We arrived home at about 4 p.m., and our petsitter had left in the morning, so Ripley and Malakai had been alone most of the day. When we pulled into the driveway, we heard Malakai’s familiar welcome home yips from the backyard, and then saw two bouncing dogs through the glass door.

You would never guess, at these moments, that Ripley is over eleven years old. She springs two or three feet in the air. She may have arthritis in her front legs, but nothing hampers those rear legs. She could be an Olympic hurdler. I let Rocky into the kitchen, where Malakai proceeded to dance in happy circles around her, and allowed Ripley to follow me outside. Special treatment time. Leaving the side gate open, I brought Ripley with me as I began to unload the car with all our luggage and miscellaneous items. At first, she tried to jump into the car. Clear message – “You’re not going anywhere without me.” I convinced her we had no plans to depart,and were only unpacking, and then, tail wagging madly, she accompanied me for six or so trips into the house with all our gear.

I then slipped on her leash, and the two of us headed out to the end of the driveway to the mailbox. Again, I’m not sure what wagged more – the tail or the body of the dog. We picked up two days’ worth of mail, and walked back to the house together.

One of the things Kat had suggested was “family outings,” as well as allowing Ripley to be the service dog now and then. I needed to pick up a prescription at Walgreen’s that evening, so we loaded all three dogs into the car, and this time, Ripley wore her service vest instead of Rocky.

Jessica says hello to Ripley

Jessica says hello to Ripley

Walgreen’s Pharmacy is one of Ripley’s favorite places. The two young women who usually assist us (Jessica in particular) dote on her, and always hand out Milk Bones. In fact, sometimes I receive two Milk Bones in my hand, and then return home only to find that one of the paper prescription bags in my larger bag is filled to the brim with more Milk Bones.

So that night, we all drove to Walgreen’s, only about ten minutes away, if that. Rocky and Malakai stayed in the car with Sabrina, and Ripley and I headed into the store. I swear, she danced down the aisles! By her excitement, I could tell – obviously, it had been far too long. She received all kinds of special attention. I pocketed the Milk Bones, and when we exited the store, I gave her one. (I try never to give her treats inside of stores. Part of the service dog thing.) Once we entered the car, I gave Milk Bones to all three dogs. And, bonus to the whole experience: Rocky didn’t seem upset, because she hadn’t been left behind at home. It worked out for everybody.

Over the next week, I made an effort to bring Ripley outside on the front patio with me alone at times. I saved her a special spot on the bed. (She likes to lie between my legs first thing at night, with her head on my stomach, while Rocky prefers to sleep next to me.) I remembered to talk to her more, to tell her how much I loved her.

Last night, I needed to go to Walgreen’s again. Once more, a family outing – all three dogs in the car, Ripley in her service vest. Once more, Ripley bounce-walked through the store, tail wagging. We found Jessica, her favorite cashier, at the counter. She has met Rocky, and knows about our transition. Jessica beamed, “Oh, I’m so glad to see Ripley out again!” Milk Bones followed, of course.

For an extra bonus, we decided to take all three dogs to Caliche’s Frozen Custard for Poochie Cones after the Walgreen’s run. Sabrina took charge of Malakai (who always wants to pee on the tile wall, so that’s a bit of a challenge), and I led Rocky and Ripley. Rocky ate the whole cone for the first time. Ripley, as usual, ate hers in two bites: one for the ice cream, the second for the cone. All were happy.

More family outings ahead. A little ice cream is good for everybody.

 

*Feature photo by Jessica at Walgreen’s, E. Northrise Drive, Las Cruces NM

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15Oct

Ripley Opens Up: A Session with the Animal Communicator

While we were in Jemez Springs with Rocky, the rest of the clan (our cats, Ripley and Malakai) stayed at the house with our petsitter Ashley. This was a big first – Ripley had never been away from me overnight since she has been my service dog, let alone three nights, with the exception of the time I was in the hospital three years ago. Then, Sabrina brought her to the hospital each morning, and she slept at the foot of my bed all day long, only returning home at night. In other words, she knew where I was, she knew I was sick, and she still was taking care of me.

This was entirely different. I walked out of the house with a suitcase, with Rocky at my side, and she had no idea where I was going or when I was getting back. Yes, I did tell her. But that human-to-dog talking thing is imperfect. She was not happy.

Ripley, full body pose

Ripley, full body pose

So while we were away, I had arranged for Ripley to talk to Kat Berard, animal communicator. Not just because of this trip, but also because I know Ripley has been struggling with her new role as a retiring service dog. In preparation for the conversation, I had sent a fact sheet and the pictures in this blog post (one close-up of Ripley’s face, one showing her whole body, and one more that simply is a favorite – I chose one of Ripley and Rocky, because I thought it would help Kat to see the two of them together).

I also had two questions:

  1. How can we make the transition from working service dog to retired service dog easier for Ripley?
  2. What are Ripley’s fears/concerns about having Rocky in the household, and about no longer going on daily outings? How can I communicate to her that this is something I am doing for her benefit, and that she will always hold a special place in my heart?

The final thing Kat asks clients to provide is a personal message. Here is what I asked her to say to Ripley.

Ripley, I love you. I know you always want to keep me safe and take care of me, as you have done so well for the past six years. I noticed signs you were aging and it was getting harder for you to do your job. I want to let Rocky come in and take some of the harder work away, so you can rest, knowing I will still be taken care of and safe. I would like you to help me with Rocky; she is still learning, and you can be a good teacher, even though I know Rocky can be an energetic silly pup at times. You have so much wisdom, and that is what I need from you now. You will always be my first service dog, and because of that, you hold a very special place in my heart. No one can ever replace you. There will always be a place for you in our home.

Kat sent the transcript of her conversation with Ripley to me via email while we were still in Jemez Springs. She communicated with Ripley for an hour. Here was the first thing Ripley said: She is having difficulty transitioning from service dog to family dog. She does not feel useful now, because she is not used to “Be-ing” versus “Do-ing.” Kat said, “She does not know how to simply be a dog. That is, she is so far advanced beyond “Dog” that she does not know how to relax and rest and enjoy life.”

The biggest message in the communication, which made complete sense to me, was that because Ripley is so highly intelligent, I must keep her interest in life by engaging her each day, or at least over the course of the week. Though it is critical for me to build the bond with Rocky, I need to spend one-on-one time with Ripley, even if it’s only for ten minutes at a time, leaving Rocky inside while I am outside with Ripley, or letting Ripley be the one who accompanies me inside a store as my service dog.

Kat communicated to Ripley that Rocky is here to help me because Ripley is aging, that this is a natural process, not a fault of hers. She explained that it is important for me to bond with and train Rocky, so she can learn well, to help me, so Ripley can relax and not worry about me. She told Ripley how much I appreciate all she has done for me over the years, and that now I want her to be able to rest, and know that I will still be taken care of.

Here are the parts where Ripley spoke out, that sounded so Ripley. When asked how to make the transition easier, Ripley said, “I do not want to be forgotten; that is all. I want to be included in what is going on whenever that is possible. I know that Michelle cannot always take me where she is going but I would still like to go along sometimes.” (Kat suggested more family car rides.)

Ripley gets a kiss from Rocky

Ripley gets a kiss from Rocky

When asked about fears and concerns of having Rocky in the household, Ripley said, “I am not afraid of Rocky, and I am not afraid for Michelle. I do miss what I was doing, and I hope that Rocky is as smart as I am, because Michelle needs/wants a very well-trained service dog. I will do my best to help Rocky be like me. This will not be easy because Rocky is smart, but she is not me.” (Kat made a note here that this was a factual rather than egotistical statement, because Ripley has been focused on me for years. Ripley does not know if Rocky can devote the same type of focused energy to what she needs to do for me, if she is mature enough.)

The last thing Ripley said was, “Please ask Michelle to be very careful with herself while Rocky is learning to be a smarter dog, especially if I am not with them when they go somewhere.”

Which both made me laugh a little, and also made my heart overflow.

Love you always, my Ripley dog.

 

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27Sep

Asking an Animal Communicator for Help

I am not a woo-woo person. By this I mean usually when someone starts talking about past lives, I start edging towards the door. I tend to avoid palm readers and fortune tellers. I have a fair number of friends who use tarot cards, and others who rely heavily on astrological charts. While I appreciate the art work of the different decks, and have at times found tarot readings to be entertaining, I don’t put much stock in them. And yet, at the same time, I don’t dismiss all of this out of hand. I have run into too many examples of weird things that don’t fit into the purely rational. So I guess you could say I’m somewhat skeptical, but not entirely a disbeliever.

Malakai in our California backyard

Malakai in our California backyard

So last winter, when our dog Malakai was exhibiting troubling behavior, and my good friend Ruth Thompson recommended an animal communicator, I was willing to go there. We had already tried everything else at our disposal. What could it hurt?

Here’s what was going on. We were in California and had put our house on the market in the early fall, getting ready for a move to Las Cruces. It was now January. Over those months, our lives had become completely chaotic. First we got the property ready for showing, with landscapers cleaning up our one-and-a-half acres, and spray washing the house, while we spruced up the inside. Then we had our realtor over, and started showing. We ended up in escrow two times, only to have it fall through. We decided to go forward with a January move date anyway, and began serious packing. We made weekly trips with items for donations to the local library, to Goodwill, and other locations.  The entire house was in boxes; we were emptying out the garage and storage shed, had a Pod in the driveway for temporary storage, and haulers came twice to get rid of the stuff that wasn’t salvageable. Finally, as we neared the date that our moving van would arrive, we sent off our five cats to our local veterinarian’s for boarding, so nobody would get lost in the shuffle during that last week.

Malakai is normally a sweet tempered, social, easy-going dog. He suddenly developed a morbid fear of riding in the truck, an activity he used to enjoy. He would pant like crazy and drool whenever he was in the vehicle with us. At first we brought him with us everywhere, thinking it would help with his discomfort, but that only made it worse. We didn’t want to leave him alone at the house, but didn’t have any other options, as our other dog at the time was Ripley, my service dog, who always accompanied me when we left to go anywhere. Malakai also became clingy and anxious at home. He loved having all the people visit, but became inconsolable, pacing the house. We had no idea what to do with him, and were dreading the three-day drive to New Mexico.

Then Ruth gave me the name of Kathleen (Kat) Berard, an animal communicator in San Antonio, Texas. I contacted her via email. She asked for a good photo or two of Malakai, a close-up, which showed his eyes, and one that showed his whole body. She gave me a questionnaire to fill out. The questions included basic info (his age, breed, weight, height, favorite activities, main job) plus our primary concern, and any message we wanted to communicate to him. She also asked what his living environment was like, and who else lived in the house with him (people and animals). We set up a time for the “consultation.” I’m not sure what I was expecting; I guess at first I thought we would be on speaker phone or something. But then it became clear this was to be a psychic connection. Kat is a former court reporter; her services include a complete transcript of the conversation she has with your animal.

malaki-portrait-72

Malakai’s expressive ears

So then we waited for the day. Malakai simply seemed to be relaxed, resting. A few days later, Kat sent us her transcript. The thing that convinced me immediately was that Malakai SOUNDED like Malakai. I don’t know how to explain this to you, but it was his voice; the way I would have expected him to talk. He said we were all so busy now; it wasn’t like before. Kat explained that the busyness was temporary. He didn’t know where the cats went, and he was worried about them. Kat told him where the cats were, and that everybody would be making the move together. One of the things we often did when we were leaving the house was to say, “Malakai, watch over the house. We’ll be back soon.” That stressed him out; he didn’t like the responsibility. Hearing that, it made perfect sense. We immediately changed our language. She also told us to start talking to him, like we would to a human, each time we left the house, telling him where we were going, when we would come back. That comforted him a great deal. He said the truck anxiety was because someone had banged on the truck window when he was alone in the truck, threatening him. We used to say, “Guard the truck,” when we would leave him there. It scared him; he didn’t understand about the windows, that he was safe inside. It took a while for the truck anxiety to dissipate, but with all the other anxiety, we noticed an almost immediate lessening.

Mostly, we felt as if there was an avenue of communication. That he had been listened to, and had had a chance to express his fears. I know, it sounds a little crazy. But I became a believer.

So this is one more thing in our tool belt now. I have been meaning to call Kat, because I feel that despite the fact I have been trying to talk to Ripley about her new role in the household, now that Rocky is here, she doesn’t completely understand. This weekend, we are going away for our first overnight trip with Rocky. We will be gone for three nights, a road trip up to Jemez Springs to see an art show by Sabrina’s sister-in-law. Kat will be talking to Ripley while we are away. It’s time. I can’t wait to hear what Ripley has to say back to me.

*Feature photo credit, Wendy Dayton

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Michelle Wing © Copyright 2014, All Rights Reserved
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